Thursday, August 25, 2011

My Name is Jenn and I am a Psychic-holic

Umm yeah so I got another reading, lol! To my credit, I am only getting the lowest charging ones with good accuracy, so give me a break! So far I have gotten four of them, and finally I got 2 that are the same!

This one was from Panrosa ( and it was beautiful, insightful and touching. She said she senses that the only thing I have always wanted was a child and that I continue to wonder if and when I will ever have one. She sensed no negativity regarding me conceiving a child, thank goodness.

She said I would conceive in October 2011 (so did Ruby) and would give birth next June to a baby girl who weighs about 7 lbs. That is now 3 psychics out of 4 who said girl, so yay! I will be getting my little Rosemarie hopefully!

Okay so if I conceive in October, it will be my first cycle on Soy Isoflavones which is interesting.. definitely thought it would take longer. And not to be a negative nancy, but the only thing keeping me from thinking of this possibility is the fact that after NINE years of TTC, we conceive the FIRST CYCLE after trying it? That is hard to wrap my head around, but I won't give up hope!

If I don't this time, no worries. I have other predictions for next year :)

Oh I forgot to add that she said she saw another girl in 2015 and a boy in 2017!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Got my 3rd Psychic Reading.. and Cried

It wasn't bad news, in fact it was awesome news and just so happens to go with Ruby's prediction. I cried because this is the first one where she actually gave some details and the realization that I might actually have a pregnancy and birth and baby in less than 2 years just hit me.

This was one was from PsychicStar on Ebay, and I will post a link at the end of the blog. She told me the conception/BFP/first scan and some little details.

First of all, she said girl and my 2nd prediction said twin girls.. now I don't think I will have twins naturally, but that is 2 out of 3 who think girl!

The month she gave me for Conception/BFP/Scan was March 2012. And actually if you remember Ruby told me I could deliver in October 2012 so if I got PG in January and was due in October and had my first scan in March, that would make them both correct!

Aside from that she said I would give birth on a Monday night and the labor would be 9 hours long. She saw no complications from the pregnancy or birth and that my daughter would have blonde highlights. Okay so at this point I was crying/freaking out. Saying the word daughter, talking about an actual pregnancy, birth and even the color of her hair? Yeah that got me, lol. And it gave me so much hope!

And last but not least, she said she saw another daughter for me in 2014 and that would complete our family.

If you would like a prediction from Psychic Star, click here. It costs a little over $5. And like always, this is not a referral link.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Soy This Cycle? Nope.. Just Kidding

Okay so big change of plans for this cycle. Yes I was going to start the Soy Iso's but I couldn't find it anywhere yesterday! We checked the grocery store, two different drug stores and Walmart. Nothing! BOO!

So at first I was really bummed out but then this morning I decided on a new plan for this cycle. I had planned on doing a "perfect month" for the month of September anyways (where you eat under your calorie limit and exercise every day for the whole month) so it's a good time to not do any TTC stuff and focus on my weight and health for the month.

Also I am out of Folic Acid which I definitely need, there are also some other vitamins/supplements DH and I both want to get. So I figured I could spend this cycle saving up and getting everything we need for our first Soy cycle which will be the next one. That way we will be 100% prepared when the cycle starts.

My shopping list for this month is as follows:

  • Soy Isoflavones
  • Folic Acid
  • Prenatal Vitamins
  • CoQ10
  • Green Tea
  • Preseed
  • Digital OPK's
  • Coast Science MFS (DH)
So as you can see I am behind on everything pretty much! I mean for just one cycle it is about $200, though the Prenatals, Soy, CoQ and Folic Acid will last longer than one cycle. I just figure if we take this cycle off it will give us a little mini break before the next few months.

What I had originally planned is doing the Soy Iso's for 4 months while DH takes the MFS (male fertility supplement from Coast Science) and then after 4 months of him taking those, we would have him get an SA to see where his numbers are. If they are good and we haven't gotten PG I would take Femara for 2 cycles (I will have 2 months worth). So that is 6 straight months of scheduling BD and TTC which will take its toll on us for sure. *Hopefully* we will get PG in that amount of time, but if not, we will move on to the new RE after the 6 months.\

So that's the new plan for this cycle! Lots of *~* Baby Dust *~* all around!

Monday, August 22, 2011

TTC: CD 5: Daily Update (Soy, Baby Psychics and More)

Okay so I thought I would do a quick daily update while I have a minute between articles. There isn't a whole lot to update on today except for the fact that I start the Soy Iso's today! I am going to the store a little later and will be able to buy them so this cycle will be from CD5-9. I still haven't decided on the dosage though. I read that the dosage of soy is typically twice the dosage you had Clomid for. So I was on Clomid 50mg would make soy about 100mg. But there are also women who have been slowly increasing the dosage each day, so they would take 100mg on day 5, 150mg on day 6, and so on.

And yes, I am still looking into the various baby psychics! I can't help it, I am completely addicted with the thought that someone might have special powers and might be able to tell me if and when I will get PG. I absolutely cannot help myself. I am only doing the very low cost ones though. Like Ruby was $5, then I got one from Suzanne who had a special for only $2 and PsychicStar on Ebay for $5. The only result I have gotten thus far is from Ruby which if you read my post about it, October this year or next year seems to be the lucky month.

I am trying to keep busy and my mind off of TTC during this point in my cycle by doing more work (yay money) and trying to eat right and exercise. The eating right comes and goes but I really struggle with exercise! Yuck fitness..

Sunday, August 21, 2011

A Realization and an Apology

This post is mostly for the infertiles who will be inevitably visiting my blog due to ICLW this month. You will soon notice that my blog is catered more towards general TTC rather than the typical IF blog. There are two main reasons for this; one, it is a relatively new blog as I deleted my old one during a mental breakdown after Mother's Day, and secondly, I have a newfound hope for conceiving a child.

I have gone down the expected route of pain, suffering, longing and lost and posted about each of those, but I wanted this blog to be different. Im sure occasionally I will post more about the pain rather than the hopeful warm-and-fuzzy feelings.. and I suppose I will start that today.

This morning as I was reading through many of the ICLW blogs in hopes of showing my support and understanding, I began thinking about my own TTC journey and came to a realization. That although I say we have been trying for 8 years, we really haven't been.

The first 2 years we definitely charted and TTC the old-fashioned way and although I suspected a problem, I never really knew. But the thing is, during those initial 2 years, everything was stacked against us. Down to the fact we used saliva which kills sperm, the absolutely worst possible BD position, I always got up right after O and some other things Im sure my DH would rather I keep private. But honestly, even in 2 years, I see now that our chances were slim to none.

Then soon after that, we began taking breaks due to the pain of it taking so long to get PG.. a lot of breaks. I think I maybe charted 1/4 of each year. Our relationship became rocky as well, which meant a lot less time of BD'ing and chances are we barely ever BD during the right time. Then I began gaining weight, my cycles got longer and fewer and I only O'd about half the time.

This is why I now have hope, because the understanding of our situation then and now is startling. We have just recently discovered all of these things we did so wrong and are now doing right. I am losing weight and getting healthy as is DH, we are taking vitamins and supplements to correct the damage that has been done, we are BD'ing at the right times and we are trying not to take too many breaks. I just feel like it is a second chance to get PG and almost like we just started TTC, not like it has been 9 years.

Its an interesting concept, because I feel like a typical infertile, yet I also feel like we just started TTC. Of course those old IF depressing feelings are still there, because even with crappy BD timing and everything else, a normal fertile couple would at the very least "accidentally" become PG in almost a decade. So I realize we still have issues, but when I let it get to me, I go a year without having hope, and lose another year of my limited child-bearing years.

So I wanted to apologize to all those visiting in hopes of reading an IF blog and come across mine, of what seems like a typical and exhausting TTC blog of nursery bedding and soy and the joy of TTC. It's just my way of coping and getting through the next month or year or decade.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

August ICLW: Welcome to My Corner of Crazy!

I just wanted to say a big welcome to everyone visiting from ICLW! If you recognize my pictures/dogs/info that's probably because I used to blog at babymagnesi but the blog was deleted a couple months ago. You can read about my breakdown here.

If you want to get to know my history, you can find it here. I love this time of the month and can't wait to meet everyone and re-connect :)

I blog pretty much daily but to get you caught up, we are about to start our fist Soy Iso cycle in a couple days which we will be doing for 3-4 cycles then moving on to Femara.

Have a *~* Baby Dust *~* Kind of Day!

Soy Isoflavones Cycle #1, CD5-9 Now?!

My original plan was to try the soy from CD3-7 but I wasn't able to pick them up in time! Today is CD3 and I don't see any way to get them until Monday. So now I will be taking it from CD5-9 which is fine with me. It will be nice to try taking them on different days each cycle.

From what I have read, taking it CD5-9 should get you a stronger, more mature egg rather than starting earlier where there are more eggs but less mature. Let's hope it works the first time!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Friday Favorites 8/19/2011

Okay so I completely forgot today was Friday and time for favorites! Since this is my first FF on this blog, I will make this week all TTC/IF related but mix it up more next week. I work from home, so I often forget what day of the week it is :)

Friday Favorites #1: IComLeavWe. If you have ever had a TTC or IF related blog, you have more than likely heard of it and probably participated. IComLeavWe stands for International Comment Leaving Week and was originally started by the lovely over at Stirrup Queens, who happens to be one of my favorite bloggers. At the beginning of each month, go to the Stirrup Queens blog and fill out the form with your blog info and 3 keywords that describe it; for instance TTC, IF and Pregnancy. You will grab the code for the button to put on your blog and from the 21st to the 28th of any given month, you will see a list of blogs participating of which you comment on at least 5 different blogs a day. This is a great way to not only get your blog noticed but to meet other fellow bloggers.

Friday Favorites #2: Preseed. I would be surprised if anyone has been TTC more than a couple of months and hasn't heard of it, but let me reiterate; Preseed is a godsend! Whether or not you feel you need the extra help, Preseed (note: this is NOT a referral link) is awesome for TTC. It is one of the only sperm-friendly lubricants on the market, fairly inexpensive and especially important if you have dry CM due to Clomid or other issues. Even if you get fertile CM every cycle, it will help those swimmers get to where they need to be more easily and make BD more enjoyable.

Friday Favorites #3: If you are currently TTC and order your "supplies" online, I highly recommend this store. They have awesome customer service, ship very quickly, easy website layout and good prices. Again, I am in no way affiliated with this site nor was I paid to endorse it. I am simply a happy customer! If you are shopping online for vitamins or supplements, preseed, menstrual cups, BBT thermometer, etc this is the place to go! Oh and of course pregnancy and ovulation tests!

So that's it for this week's favorite. Have a *Baby Dust* Kind of Day!

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice.. and Birds

In the spirit of sharing my favorite nursery themes, here is my top choice for a girl! And I'll be honest, I had to google the "what are girls made of" nursery rhyme! Hah!

So anyways, I had gone back and forth on possible girl bedding for years, but when I found this one there was absolutely NO REASON to look further. I absolutely fell madly in love with it and if it is no longer sold when I am ready for it, I will buy it off Ebay somehow. I need this bedding if I have a girl!

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails.. and Elephants

*** WARNING - This post contains baby stuff! ***

I just wanted to share this new baby bedding set for a boy that I found at Target. It is so super cute! I love how simplistic and modern it is. It is the "Spotted Ellie" elephant bedding and found at many baby stores including and Yahoo! shopping. I also liked that it comes with all the nursery stuff like wall hangings, curtains, blankets, diaper stacker and rugs.

CD 2: Soy Isoflavones and Psychics!

Okay so my first soy cycle is about to begin! I will hopefully be going out later today or tomorrow to get the pills and starting them tomorrow night. I was given the advice of taking them at night because of the side effects like headaches and hot flashes. Not much else to say other than I really hope they work, that I feel a nice strong O and that I am able to O earlier than the last few cycles!

I got my first psychic reading last night! I was freaking out all day worring that she couldnt find anything about me, but I got an email at about 6 saying October was my lucky month. So she saw either conceive/BFP in October or giving birth next October.

From what I have read, these "baby psychics" have about a 90% success rate so I am going to try several of them and see if any come up with the same results. I ordered another one from Suzanne today since it was only $2.00 (blog special).

Here's the links:

Ruby: TTC Baby Love Predictions

Suzanne: Healing Spirit

Have a *~* Baby Dust *~* type of day!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

TTC and IF Articles

If you look in the left sidebar you will notice a growing list called "My TTC and IF Articles" which are exactly as they sound. If you dont already know, I am a freelance writer and write both titles that I choose from a list and ones I come up with on my own. So the list will be a mix of general TTC/getting pregnant/infertility-related articles I have written over the last couple years. I am continuously looking through my work and adding as many as I can find.

I just thought I would put them up therre as they are fitting to thisblog and in case anyone wants to check them out :) They are mostly from Yahoo! when it was Associated Content and some eHow articles as well. I am the Miscarriage and Infertility Examiner for San Diego, but I only have one article there because I didn't like their site layout.

So check them out if you are curious and let me know if you would like me to research/write on any other topics!

TTC: CD 1: Soy Isoflavone Cycle #1

Okay so it has officially began, well sort of. I definitely think this is an anov. cycle just because AF is uber weird. I spotted all day yesterday (wordless wednesday which is why no post) and today I started this morning with brown spotting then turned into dark brick red spotting.. but it was substantial enough to need a tampon and the cramps are slowly setting in.

Anyhoo - CD 1 is today which means it is the start of my very first soy isoflavones cycle! I am anxious because I just can't wait to see what happens! I am really hoping for a strong, prominent O to track my cycle and know exactly what is going on. I wanted to order digital OPK's, but since I might O early this cycle I probably won't get around to ordering them in time. So in about a week, I will go to Dollar Tree and get some of those stupid line ones. But next cycle I will be more prepared! I also didnt get Preseed either or my other vitamins, haha. Not prepared at all!

So this cycles cocktail is just Soy Isoflavones from CD 3-7 and green tea daily. I will start the line OPK's on CD 10 and hope I O earlier than CD 20's and get a shorter cycle!

Not much else to report as of yet; I should get my very first conception psychic reading at some point today.. I am both nervous and excited. I just hope she doesnt say she couldnt see a PG at all, I think I would literally cry myself into a frenzy. But we shall see! I will definitely post when I get the results of that one.

*~* Have a Baby-Dust Kind of Day! *~*

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

TTC: CD 32 NOT-10DPO: The Non-Cycle Continues

So I am now 99.99% sure I am going through an anovulatory cycle right now and I just want it to be over! Basically all of my signs point to not being 10 DPO. I should have spotting, firm/open CP and creamy CM by now. My CM is DRY as a bone, which for some means AF but for me I get creamy or watery around this time. My CP is medium/soft/closed and I don't have any post-O symptoms like BB tenderness which is insane. Not even the tiniest little pinch or soreness. It's like I am on CD 10 or something.

On the plus side of things, I am doing great on my "diet" and still losing at least 1/2 pound a day. Drinking tons of water even though it is causing dry mouth and chapped lips (WTH?!). So I am hoping my cycles turn around with the combination of losing weight and taking Soy Iso's next cycle.

Honestly if AF came today I would be thrilled. Well if I was PG, I would be thrilled, but if AF is going to come, now would be nice!

Not much else going on to update. I could list "symptoms" but I have a reason/excuse for each one which happens when you have been TTC as long as me. I am just so in-tuned to my body that I know why every little thing does or does not happen.

  • Dry CM - Anov. Cycle
  • Dry Mouth/Throat - Drinking a lot of tap water
  • Lower Back Cramps - Bad posture since I work on the couch with my netbook now
  • Heartburn - I honestly think I make myself get it because I don't always notice it. I think I always have it but when in the 2WW I just want it to be a symptom.
  • Lack of AF signs - Anov. Cycle
So now I am off to find some work motivation for today. 10:30 and nothing done yet = working until 1 AM. Plus I am going out to dinner tonight with a friend so that will cut into my working time as well.

Have a *~* Baby Dust *~* type of day!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Our (very long) History of TTC

If you look at the left side-bar of my blog you will be a more brief summary of our TTC journey. This is a really long post!

2000 - We got married in June 2000 and never used birth control including the 11 months we dated before getting married. At this time I had no clue about charts or correct BD timing, so we had a lot of sex pretty much every day for the first year or so.

2002 - We lived apart briefly in the beginning of our marriage after we had been married about a year. Long story but where we were living was really awful and so I moved in with the lady whose daughter I was watching during the day, and DH moved in with his friend.. just for about 3 months until we had enough for a security deposit and first months' rent on our apartment.

  • During this 3-month separation we only saw each other for brief periods of time. On the 3rd month in August, it was our 2-year dating anniversary and we wanted to celebrate it even though we were now married. We stayed at a hotel for a night, it was the only time we BD that entire month and happened to be perfect timing.
  • I found out I was PG when I was about 6 weeks along, not knowing when AF was due or that it was late due to out living situation. But unfortunately I had a M/C when I was almost 12 weeks along.
2002-2004 - We started TTC a few motnhs after the M/C but I stlil hadn't learned about charting or BD timing and I had no clue if we actually were getting BD in while I was fertile. In late 2004 I researched charting and charted just my CM and CP for 2 cycles. The SECOND cycle we got PG. I was floored at how quickly it happened.
  • Yet again I M/C,but this time it was at about 8-9 weeks. I dont remember much about it as I blocked most of it out.
2004-2009 - The next 5 years were hectic, stressful and extremely rocky for our relationship and our TTC journey. I thought I would get PG right away but I didnt. I never had us get tested because we couldnt really afford it. We took A LOT of breaks, which is why I dont consider it 5 straight years of TTC. I think it was more like 3 months on, 3 months off and so on.

2009 - Finally in 2009 I went to my OB about infertility testing. He was completely clueless and by this time I knew I was ovulating and it was probably DH due to his lifestyle choices. Well the OB decided I must have Endo due to severe cramping and sent me for a LAP of which they found nothing and my tubes were clear.
  • After finding nothing in the LAP, the OB put me on Clomid. Its like they just hand it out to anyone TTC. I FORCED him to do an SA.
  • Shockingly enough, found out DH has severe MFI! He only gave 0.2 ML and the only numbers I was given was 16 mill/ml (which would be 3.5 mill. total) and 65% motility. He never got re-tested.
End of 2009 - At the end of 2009 I finally made the decision to seek help from a local RE. It went okay but we didnt get very far other than my CD3 bloodwork. DH lost his job about a week after my appointment so we neever went back for an SA or anything else. I didnt like the nurses there though, so our next RE will be someone different.

2010-2011 - For the past year all we have done is TTC off and on and trying to research alternate ways to improve DH's numbers. I have been having very irregular/long or annov. cycles for over a year now.

2011 - The new RE recommended supplements from Coast Science so we will both be going on that, as I mentioned in a previous post.

TTC: CD 31, 9 DPO: PG Dreams!

Hi everyone! Okay so I will be starting my daily TTC blog posts that will be rather boring for many of you :)

I am CD 31 today and 9 DPO.. I think. This cycle I haven't really had any post-O symptoms so there is about a 50% chance I am having an anovulatory cycle which sucks because our BD timing was awesome. BUT on the flip side, I am doing really good on my diet and hope that it helps my cycles regulate. Last month I did well on my diet and O'd on CD 18 which hadn't happened in over a year! So it is definitely improving.

I went through bouts of happiness/depression yesterday but I also have a lot of stress in my personal and professional life right now, so that is pretty typical for me.

As far as PG symptoms go, nada, zip, nothing. I don't have AF symptoms either, so I guess that's good. I have had the dull achy cramps for about 3 or 4 days, but I get that pretty often in the 2WW. Yesterday I had a bit of sore throat and dry mouth and a tiny bit of EW so I have a feeling it was my second estrogen surge which can happen.

Okay so now for the fun stuff! I actually had a semi-pregnancy dream last night! I LOVE those so much. I wish I could make them happen every night!! I actually didn't see or feel myself being pregnant, but I was in my bedroom (which I didn't recognize, wasn't my room here) with my stepsister and opening baby shower gifts. I remember for some reason several people got me sets of bath stuff for baby and then opened one that I said was "expensive" and ended up being from my Dad and included $250 in cash which is how I knew (my Dad doesn't give out cards, just cash in envelopes, lol). Then I woke up. So nothing major, but definitely awesome.

So that's about it.. boring post I know. At this point I am just thinking I didn't really O this cycle and trying to get to the next one because I will be taking Soy Isoflavones for a few months and I am curious to see what happens with that.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Coast Science: The Male Prenatal

Due to DH's MFI issues, I have been in search of a magical supplement that would fix everything. Yes if he has something else wrong causing low counts and volume, a supplement won't do sh*t. But I tend to think more along the lines that a majorty of his issues have to do with his lifestyle like smoking, being overweight, drnking a lot of soda and no water, eating unhealthily, not takaing vitaminss. So my own personal assessment is that a supplement with all of the necessary vitamins in one dose, would fix a lot of the issues in about 3-4 months.

I put him on Fertility Blend immediatley after his SA in 2009. Then for whatever reason, he stopped taking it and he never started a second bottle. Then we took a rather long TTC break and earlier this year I got him Fertilaid but when he was nearly done with his 2nd bottle I began doing research on more advanced supplements on the market.

On the FF forums, I noticed a lot of people discussing and praising the supplement from Coast Science. After some research, it looked to be highly probable that it would do something at least. It is more expensive, about $90 a bottle; but that beats thousands for IVF! So I called an RE in the area that we plan on switching to when our finances are in order, and asked what supplement they recommend. Well guess what, the male fertility supplement from Coast Science is it!

So that was like a double-yes on this supplement. I haven't ordered it yet but plan to very soon. I would prefer if he could get an SA before starting it, then one after but we can't really put out an extra $100 for it. So when I get it he will take it for 3-4 months then have an SA and see how the numbers look.

Honestly his SA was 2 years ago so his numbers could be a lot better or a lot worse, nobody really knows.

The company's name is Coast Science and the supplement is called "Male Fertility Supplement" or MFS but is often referred to as the Male Prenatal.

* Male Fertility Supplement by Coast Science
* MFS Information and Facts

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Charts and Cocktails

Back to charting... again. I just started a new account on FF since I deleted my last in a fit of rage, so my new account has just 2 charts on it. Its kind of nice though because now that I have more irregular and longer cycles, the average/max length and LP will be more accurate. I will post a link to the chart at the end :)

I am also charting my cycles and symptoms on Why? Because I feel like it :) No really though, they have some interesting tools on there. For instance, there are way more symptoms to add in your 2WW that FF doesn't have, like sensitive nipps and different type of cramps. Also, every day you can compare your symptoms to that of PG woman during the same DPO. So like today I am 7DPO and entered "backache" so it says something like 13% of pregnant women experienced backaches on 7DPO.

By cocktails, I don't mean the yummy, fruity self-indulgent kind. I mean the official TTC meaning of the word. Our cocktails are the mixture of vitamins, herbs and supplements we use each and every cycle. In the past, we haven't taken much of anything, but I am looking to correct that. So here is a rundown of my TTC cocktails for the next cycle.


* Folic Acid - Daily
* Prenatal - Daily
* CoQ10 - Daily
* Soy Isoflavones - CD 3-7

DH will also be on a supplement for MFI which I will discuss more in the next post. For now I am going to put him on a multi-vitamin but he will have to stop that once I get the supplement.

Aside from the cocktails, we will be BD'ng every other day, using Preseed during BD each time and I will be using digital OPK's from CD 10 until I get my surge!

One more thing I wanted to add is that a fellow buddy who also went through IF and irregular periods was prescribed several months of Femara. She got PG with her first IUI and has a few months worth of the pills left, which she has very kindly offered me! But I want to "save" them for when our chances are the best, so I am going to take the Soy Iso's for 3 months, then after DH has been taking his supplements for 3-4 months, his swimmers will be the best they're going to be and I will begin taking the Femara.

FF Chart -

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Breakdown, a New Blog and a Fresh Start

This isn't my first blog and it probably wont be my last. My history of TTC and infertility is long in years but short in answers and experience. Meaning we have been trying to get pregnant for almost a decade but have only have very minor tests done, no procedures and are still waiting for more answers.

What we do know is that DH has severe male infertility with 2 million motile sperm at his last SA - which was 2 years ago, so who knows what it is now. I used to ovulate regularly but for the past year or so my cycles have been long and erratic. We have been to the RE just once for my BW which was normal but then we lost insurance and havent been back; not that insurance covered all that much.

Trying for this long is beyond what little words I know could comprehend. Stressful? Yes. Frustrating? Most Definitely. Depressing? Every Day. But those really dont measure up to the utter pain and loss and fear and sadness that you get from infertility. However they will do for now.

I had somewhat of a breakdown, a mental episode, a couple months ago. It was shortly after Mother's Day and I just snapped after seeing literally dozens of "Being a mother is such a blessing" posts on Facebook. I deleted every single mom or expecting mom on my page except for those that I couldnt remove like my own mom, aunts, cousins and sisters. It was a really bad time for me but I have since added everyone back and am not so nutso.

During the breakdown I also deleted all of my "internet presence" including all of my blogs, twitter, social bookmarking sites, myspace (which I didnt use and dont miss), fertility friend account, pretty much anything that was deletable. Unfortunately at the time I had an IF blog that got deleted with a lot of great posts. It is such a bummer that it is now gone forever..

So here I am with a new blog and a fresh start. Because I have different blogs of different subjects, I had to create separate emails. But that means this account can be just for TTC  and infertility in regards to my About Me sections, profile, email and the blogs that I follow.

I will be back soon with somewhat of an update and where we are now in our very long journey.